


catharsis

by jinnieshyun (angelsouls)



Series: BBB Bingo [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Body Image, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22283323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsouls/pseuds/jinnieshyun
Summary: if you don't have control of yourself, what are you?(in which they try to keep their own bodies for themselves, one inking at a time)Written for BBB Bingo -- tattoos to maintain bodily autonomy
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M & Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Hoseok | Wonho
Series: BBB Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603963
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17
Collections: BBBFest Debut Round: The Bittersweet Option





	catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to cat for looking over this! comment and kudos if you like it, and talk to me on twitter :D
> 
> tw // body image, alludes to external ownership of body

“Hyung, hyung, hyung,” Changkyun whined, obviously drunk. “I need to get another tattoo.” The words came out slurred as he hung over Hoseok’s arm. The red of the alarm clock glared in the dark room, spilling the smallest amount of red light over them.

Hoseok pulled him tighter towards him as Changkyun shivered. It was the heat of summer, and the blanket that covered them was thin. Their loose shirts hung off of their shoulders, and their shorts exposed the skin of tangled legs, completely smooth at the company’s request. Hoseok’s hair was bright pink, and soft brown met it in the room. Changkyun can list the effects of bleach and dye on hair in a heartbeat; it was why his parents never let him color his hair as a child, no matter how much he wanted dark blue hair like the cool kids at school. Now, his requests are bypassed in favor of brown, new shade of brown, more brown, black, brown. The silver must have been a freak accident. 

Changkyun runs his fingers down Hoseok’s torso, his nails gliding on the smooth fabric, ghosting on skin. His muscles are perfect, but his face is drawn and sunken, countless eons of exhaustion etched into their very being. “Tomorrow?” he asks.

Hoseok sighs. “Again? Already? The company will be pissed, you know.”

Changkyun smirks, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “The fans will find it hot. I’ve seen all of the tweets about my tattoos.” 

“Changkyun.” Hoseok fixes him with a unimpressed stare. “Kkukungie, baby, you can’t keep doing this.”

“Why not? I have the money.”

Hoseok pauses. “We’ll go at one. Do you know what you want?”

Changkyun traces the small tattoo on his finger. “This is a lot like me, don’t you think? It is me, my choice,” he asks. He snakes a hand back towards the words printed on his back. “And this makes no sense.” He meets Hoseok’s eyes, daring him to ask.

Hoseok knows the answer so well, knows it because it haunts his existence as well. But he asks, “Why?”

“I’m a coward.”

He says it with a blank stare that seems to look past all of the walls that confine them to the dorm, the whites of his eyes shine through the blackness of his pupils.

At least it wasn’t through contacts.

The room charges with energy that they can both feel. Suddenly it feels loud, the clashing of ideals and feelings and morals and guilt ripping at his psyche. It sounds like metal on metal on skin. Hoseok knows that feeling all too well, has been living it since the days he gave away his face to the masses. Hoseok has not had control for years.

Hoseok squeezes him lightly. Tomorrow, they will reclaim a little more of their skin.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter!](https://twitter.com/jinnieshyun)


End file.
